A letter I received last week prompted me to do this. That letter was sent in by a troubled youth. Even though it mirrored similar ones I have received in the past, it got me thinking of the importance of taking time out occasionally, to address peculiar issues that keep recurring in relationships.

This is the first attempt. On marriage clinic, this Saturday, we would also be talking about issues bordering on prosperity of marriage.

Undoubtedly relationship remains one of life's most puzzling and difficult challenges known to man.

No matter how perfect and gifted we are when it comes to managing that aspect of our life, that has to do with our hearts, often than not we fail woefully.

Strangely, nobody is immune to this problem, which has existed from the very beginning of mankind, to the Garden of Eden, when conflict of emotions drilled a hole in the harmonious relationship between God and man on one hand and between man and man on the other hand.

Having handled a relationship column for years and relating with millions of people with diverse problems in their various relationships, two things I have found to be responsible for the numerous problems we encounter: trust in its different shades and selfishness, which is an inherent problem with man.

Even though it is natural for everyone to consider his or her interest first before taking into account the other person's happiness, for a relationship to function well and produce the concomitant happiness, this human attribute towards selfishness has to be reversed to putting the interest of others first before one's comfort.

Following the example of Christ who left all the comfort of heaven to take on our sins, suffer our humiliation and die painfully for us to be happy, we must learn to adopt Christ perfect example of self sacrifice if our relationships are to have the desired end. No heart can exist on its own without another heart to complement it.

Whether as parents, lovers and even business partners, we all need to have someone by our side to function to full capacity because God never intended us to be islands on our own.

There is no need contesting the tremendous benefits that come from trusting our partners. Today we are all united by our faith because we trust what the Bible says about our Lord, Jesus Christ. We believe He came from heaven to pay the price of man's fall in the Garden to Eden so that we can be reconciled with our heavenly father again.

So its inherent values to every aspect of our lives cannot be overemphasised.

Unfortunately, we neglect its premium significance in the relationships we keep. Ironically we expect, demand it from others while in the majority of cases, we refuse to give an inch of it to those we demand it of.

As parents, we expect our children to exhibit trust in our leadership, decisions and instructions while we think nothing of exercising that same trust on their integrity as human beings. It is a selfish position which has continued to pierce a deep hole in the relationships between parents and their children. A lot of issues, which mutual trust would have resolved effortlessly between parents and their children have degenerated into life-time hatred and needless acrimony resulting in the inability of some parents and their children to ever see eye to eye on even simple matters.

It is so painful because the selfless example of Christ is something even Christian parents forget to imbibe when issuing what looks more like decrees than loving and well-thought-out instructions to their children.

This is the reason teenagers would forever have problems with their parents and every adult that wants to envelop them in a sack of menacing instructions that make them feel more like prisoners and zombies rather than free persons, who also have a right to an input in affairs concerning them.

That we are parents don't make us faultless and above learning. A little bit of trust and selflessness, I have discovered from the problems a lot of teenagers have shared with me would help minimise the stressful headaches parents have contend with concerning their teenage children.

Many parents, forgetting their own rebellious years as teenagers, when all they wanted from their parents was to be treated as emerging adults, whose thinking faculties have matured to be trusted with certain amount of freedom, end up doing exactly what they protested against with their own parents. It is strange that as parents, we want to enforce those rights and rules on our children we fought our own parents over.

There would be fewer tensions between parents and their children if the two parties learn to accommodate, trust and listen to the desires of the other. By imbibing the culture of dialoguing and sealing it up with trust, the relationship between parents and their children would become happier and productive.

If mothers and fathers learn to do to their parenting role with all the responsibility demanded, being available when it is most necessary, giving encouragement when the child needs it the most, offering support in those critical moments and offering advice not commandments in moments of uncertainty, praying that child into success instead of criticism, the heart of a child will forever be tuned to his or her parents'.

Furthermore, such a child would grow up to be a loving husband or wife to another man. When a child has a balanced background, has very fond memories of his or her childhood, is in love with either of parent, chances of such a child maltreating his or her partner is very slim and in between.

This is because from an early life, the culture of respect and responsibility has been entrenched. Many young men and women who have derailed would still be on track because even they make what adults consider to be mistakes, the right support and love could still bring about a positive change.

Our children are not the irresponsible people we think they are. They maybe younger than we are; but it doesn't make them incapable of thinking or handling trust. They have to be given the responsibility of trust to make them grow into becoming responsible adults. Our role as adults is to offer them the benefit of our experience to help them avoid some of the painful mistakes we had made.

Whatever we do, parents who really love their children must begin from very early to explain the real issues of life which is the dynamism of relationship and their sexuality.

Good luck.